How looking older than your age affects kids at school

There can be both advantages and disadvantages of looking older than you actually are. However when a child is still of school going age it can have distinct disadvantages. Looking older can be classified broadly into two categories.

Exceptionally Tall Children

Teachers, parents and classmates will initially raise their expectations for children who seem to be older than they actually are. Yet, there is a huge difference in the verbal skills of a three year old for eaxmple and a five year old. Children who are exceptionally tall for their age are expected to be able to express and explain their actions and fears. There is more tolerance for a three year old but perhaps not for a five year old looking three years old. Whilst classroom teachers who deal with the child on a day to day basis will be understanding and tolerant, teachers who are supervising in other school situations like in a playground may not be. This being partly due to their temporal interaction and lack of information about their age. They should be made aware that these children are still little kids trapped in a big body.

Children who are much taller than their age are often teased by other children. This is often the case particularly in preteens and teenagers. This is the time when self esteem is usually at its most vulnerable. Children do not like to be different from others. Teasing children that they look like a giraffe or a giant can be very damaging particularly to sensitive children.

Often when a child looks older and taller  than they actually are they get blamed for their actions since they are expected to be mature and know better. Teachers and parents can have unrealistic  expectations. Teachers seem to expect much more maturity from physically taller kids.

While in high school parents can actually discourage their children from dating a very tall teen. They often do not realize or understand that their fifteen year old  daughter is dating another fifteen year old who actually seems to be at least eighteen given his height.

Girls who develop early

Girls who develop physically earlier than their friends can experience many social problems while at school. Girls who experience puberty a few years earlier than their classmates are often mistaken for being older than they actually are. When a girl of ten is already wearing a large size bra people automatically think that she must be a few years older. Also these girls often become a source of curiosity to their classmates who have yet to mature. Playing with dolls when you have a C- cup is frowned upon whilst it’s accepted when you look ten still.

When girls who have physically matured early start to date they are often thought of as being promiscuous just because they have big breasts. Older students will take more interest in them thinking that in fact they are older .

It is also difficult to find suitable clothing for school when students are not required to wear school uniforms. All your young-looking friends are wearing the latest crop top to school but  for you it has just become a bit too suggestive.

As with kids that are taller than their age, girls who look older than their classmates may be teased. Teens in particular do not want to look any different from their friends  and hence their self esteem may suffer. This can be worsened if they under perform in class.

Both teachers and parents have parts to play in making sure that children who look older than their age are not teased or picked on for looking different.Talk to these children and make sure they are not being bullied and help them understand the advantages of their difference.